butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
P.S. I can't hear my feet
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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