Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
