So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
