If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
