It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We need to rekindle our bromance
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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