Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
