i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
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Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
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lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize