Your mouth is God's brothel.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
