Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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