My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
