I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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