k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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