Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think I won the penis lottery.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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