they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
