Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.