U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
