WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
