I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
