What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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