one might say we're banned from that church
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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