return my video game
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
