He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
