Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
