i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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