Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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