Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize