just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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