WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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