Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
