As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
