UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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