Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
