Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Randomize
