Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
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