Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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