no. you can't hotbox the world.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
