He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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