No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
