I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
