so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
