I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
