The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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