wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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