btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
