billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
