I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
