What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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