you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Brb crying the tears of my youth
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize