ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
