We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You ate ashes out of my bong
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
