I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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