so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
