i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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