OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
