You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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