I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
