no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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