My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
