he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
